Nov 07, 2022

How to get in the mood for sex? Even if you aren’t in the mood

Is sex important in a relationship? Hell, yes! When a couple has a good relationship, they are generally having a good sex life as well. The inverse is also true. Your relationship and sex life are inseparably connected. So, having a good sex life will let you connect more outside the bedroom too. 

However, when partners become more familiar, the sex tends to become less exciting. Do you ever have those thoughts like – “I have no sex drive and it’s ruining my relationship?” Don’t worry, you are not alone. It is fine to forgo sex when you’re not in the right mood. But when you want to have sex and want to try to get in the mood, here are some tips to fire up your libido.

How to enjoy sex in a relationship 

It is not hard to improve your chances of getting in the mood for intimacy. You can boost your libido by following some effective moves. Here are easy ways to spice up sex in a relationship:

Try reading or watching something that turns you on

Get turned on by focusing on something sexually stimulating such as a book or a movie. Some individuals prefer steamy romance novels, others enjoy erotica, and many others enjoy romantic and steamy movies that have spicy sex scenes. 

Porn with fantasies can also let you get access your inner horny. Try watching it with your partner. Watching two lovers touching each other on screen will give you many ideas about what you could do with your partner when you are together.

Try something new 

At times, you may not feel like having sex because you are bored with the same old foreplay. Particularly if you’ve been together an long time. Time to spice things up! You can try new things that you’ve never tried before to refresh your sex life. It can be using new sex toys or changing your environment. 

Both partners can try make a list of things that they want during sex both emotionally and physically and share them. Communicating your desires with your other half and knowing their desires is a great way to make sure that you both feel connected, which leads to physical intimacy.

Make Time for Sex 

For many couples, sex is an afterthought, perhaps at the end of a long tiring day. Even though it may seem like a fun thing to do, deciding on a specific time in your schedule to get together can make it easier to include sex in your weekly checklist. Making time for sex will ensure that you get the time to be fully present with your partner. When you take time to enjoy sex, your body and mind will be ready for it.

Have shower together

Having a shower together is sexy and dare we say, practical. Washing and rubbing each other increases intimacy while you both get relaxed and cleaned. Wash off one another and cuddle in the bathtub or under the shower. 

Feeling each other in the shower can blow your senses and help you get ready for sex. Taking bath together will leave you feeling warm and cozy which can get you in the mood for sex. Use your shower time to build intimacy that is missing in your relationship. 

Discover or remember what turns you on 

Try to figure out what excites or stimulates you and share it with your partner. It might be that exchanging romantic messages can make you feel in the mood for sex. When they know (and vice versa) what excites you, they can have it up their sleeve to bring out when they want to initiate intimacy. This will boost your emotional connection and relationship which will boost your sexual desires.

So if it is romantic messages, try send flirty messages all day long!

Take time to explore

It is perfectly normal to not be in the mood for sex, sometimes even when you love your partner. It is normal and common for a person’s libido to fluctuate which can influence their sexual frequency. If you don’t feel like having sex, take some time to understand what makes you enjoy sex and how you can spice up sex in your relationship. But don’t push yourself. Take time to explore your sexuality by yourself and when ready, get your partner involved.


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