Oct 25, 2021

The First Steps to Reigniting the Spark in Your Relationship

Every long-term relationship is likely to go through periods of diminishing intimacy. There’ll be times when you can’t stay without each other and other times when your world would revolve around your work, education, children, or some other object besides your partner. So it’s totally fine to get into this phase. 

What’s not fine is leaving things as they are. 

Sometimes, couples naturally find their spark again after a period of adrift. But it’s most helpful to actively work towards it. 

So, if you want to reignite the spark in your relationship, here are some simple, practical tips. 


Do something new together 

The lost intimacy and interest could be because there’s nothing new to see in the relationship. Humans naturally crave adventure, something to excite them and get their juices flowing. 

Go on a vacation together; pick up a new hobby together; see a movie; join a club; organise a dinner party; a sporting activity; or just go for a walk. That moment you spend together outside of home creates a new sensation of closeness you don’t feel when together indoors. 

Doing something new together can never be cliché when it comes to relationships. It works like magic.


Vamp up your sex life

Have you been making love the same way over and over again? 

Or maybe you’ve not even had physical intimacy for some time due to work and lack of time. I get it. It happens a lot.

If you find yourselves drifting apart, it may be a great idea to set a date for an intimate time together. It may sound unerotic at first. But looking forward to such an intimate time can get both of you excited. It will also build up passion leading to more satisfying sex. 

But most importantly, your partner will know you still consider them desirable, leading to renewed intimacy.


Try physical touch

Did you know that physical touch is one of the 5 love languages? It just might be what gets your partner going. 

It’s always a great idea to maintain physical touch in relationships no matter how long you’ve been together. Cuddle, hug and get a massage from each other, rub their shoulder, show them you appreciate their body. 

All of these bring a physical connection that translates into romantic attraction, possibly acting as a build-up to sex.

Physical touch is something you can do every day, but it never feels the same. 


Use words of affirmation

Words of Affirmation are also one of the 5 love languages. 

For starters, saying positive things to your partner shows how much you appreciate them. And the truth is, there’s hardly anyone who doesn’t like appreciation or get the thrills when they’re told nice things, especially by their lover. 

You may have told your partner how good-looking they are a thousand times and how proud you are of them, but you can say it again. When they dress nice, compliment them.

Thank your partner for the smallest things they do, like cooking dinner. Incorporating words of affirmation and praise is crucial to maintaining and bringing the spark back into your relationship. 


Get relationship coaching

If you feel your relationship is cascading and nothing you do is working, it’s wise to get help from a Relationship Coach as soon as possible. A coach can help the both of you navigate your differences, the cause of the drift, and find out if you still desire each other’s company.

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Frolic for Life’s Kids Life Coaching with Coach Andrea was such a great experience for my pre-teen son. Coach Andrea helped him with a transition to a new school and then a transition to a new country one year later! It was so helpful for him to have so many tools in his back pocket to deal with all of the emotions and big feelings. Having an extra adult in his life who he could confide in and trust with his feelings was really important to us. Especially living far from extended family. He really appreciated the role she played for him and felt pretty cool having his own “life coach”. I highly recommend Coach Andrea. She is so excellent with this age group. She really knows how to talk to pre-teens and earn their respect and trust without judgement.
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